i am so content being single for almost the first time in my life.
maybe because my priority is me for once, my life, my future..etc.
feels good nigga =)
i realize i was taking it all for granted - God, my family, my friends, nature, experiences
and instead indulging in comfort with him.
life isn't meant to be easy nor comfortable.
when it seems like the dust is starting to settle, i should be prepared for the unexpected.
mainly, i'm just gonna focus on having fun and rolling with the punches.
life's too short to be sad all the time or to be dwelling on petty shit.
gotta focus on the bigger picture.
idk..hopefully this collectedness i'm feeling isn't temporary
and isn't because of stupid reasons.
i'm afraid that while it's a good thing i'm enjoying being single,
my enjoyment may root in the possibility that i don't want to be with anyone else but him ( and then that's why i'm not even caring about guys around here right now)
ergh
oh well, no use in worrying about a possibility.
there's bigger problems out there.
don't sweat the small stuff

what's worse, to know the hardship you're about to face
or not know what's coming to you?



With what a deep devotedness of woe
I wept thy absence - o'er and o'er again
Thinking of thee, still thee, till thought grew pain,
And memory, like a drop that, night and day,
Falls cold and ceaseless, wore my heart away!
~Thomas Moore

there is nothing wrong with male nursing.
the only reason for a male nurse to get any heat from anyone is if he errs in his nursing duties. I was very naive in thinking that the very existence of a male being a nurse was universally accepted. In saying that, I ask - why ISN'T being a male AND a nurse considered "normal" or "manly"?
In debating this issue, I was asked how many male nurses there were in my class. How the fuck is that relevant at all? Does it mean to say that if there are only 2 males in my anatomy class that those two males must be gay?? That was the opposing argument- "male nursing is gay" why? "just because".
awesome.
are you fucking kidding me?? what year is this?
I see where the mentality might root. Years ago, nursing was a profession dominated by females.
Also, years ago only white males voted and females rarely left the house for reasons other than those related to domestic duties.
Change happens and sometimes it's good and sometimes it's bad. Change that enables either sex to strive and realize a career in the profession of his or her choice is GOOD. hands down.
Get with the program, people.
Also, the opposing side implied that nursing is an inferior profession, at least, in comparison to being a doctor. Nurses don't wipe asses all day or simply apply cold compresses to whatever ailment. There is a level of critical thinking, decision making and skill involved that seems to be overlooked. Men and women, both, have to work hard to become a nurse-a good nurse, that is.
There is nothing gay about studying the sciences of the human body cause hey, guess what, doctors do that too!
I simply don't understand why the "gayness" of male nursing is an idea that is still alive. I hope everyone, especially those who agree with this foul opinion, gets a chance to have a male nurse if they ever have to be in the hospital.


btw, I respect doctors A LOT. They definitely put in a lot of time and effort into earning their degrees. I hope i don't come across as saying that being a doctor isn't as fulfilling.
And sorry if this makes little sense or seems like a rant because it is and i'm still slightly pissed.

that's it. i've been writing private entries for too long.
why do i even bother to fill in that bubble below?
for months, i worried and overly concerned myself with
possibly 'publishing' an entry as public.
who cares?!
even now, i'm reanalyzing the sentences i make and the
words i choose.
hell, if i don't end up making this private, i'll be surprised.
i mean, i understand that when i have a personal issue
there's good reason to make it my business and no one
else's.
but there are times when i want to comment on
something,
a gnawingly disappointing social circle or the effects of
a dysfunctional family on a girl who refuses to acknowledge
her alcohol abuse,
and i find myself holding back.
i realize here, on xanga, is ideal for placing confidence
because so few of us use it anymore, in comparison to
it's 'boom' in middle school and high school.
but i can't seem to bring myself to let a thought be out there
in the open, without me being around to defend it at any minute.
which reminds me that one of the possibilities for my xanga-phobia
lies in the older entries of my online journal.
not a particular entry, but the entries that look LikE tHis and
sound lyke ai kan noht speLL fo' shiTtttT.
it's a disgrace.
and i know i shouldn't be so hard on myself because all
middle-high schoolers are melodramatic and unaware,
but i always thought of myself as that unsung prodigy,
aware and observing - and literate.
oh my, i so wasn't. that would be a pun btw.
SEE. why do i feel the need to explain myself??
to no one!
maybe the burrowing embarrassment lies in the fact that
my alias has three unnecessary O's, a random X in the middle,
and that cringe-provoking "uh".
brings me shame far more intense than any combination
of Filipinos and free giveaways ever could.


yeah, i know i can just change my username and start over.
starting over is just not my thing.

everything relates back to each other.
isn't that weird?

twas a great weekend
possibly gave a glimpse of the future.

life's perfect when i'm patient enough to wait
for the good to eventually follow the bad

i wish i could work everyday like today
4 hours total
but tomorrow..8 hours.
booo.

now i must study for anat&phys
while watching the closer ()
maybe ill actually try to "blog" for real at a later time